Armand's First Days
by Daughter of Lestrange
Summary: A comical script about a formal vampire teacher (Marius) and a stubborn mortal student (Armand). Never fear, I also managed to get Lestat in as well


**Note: This is just my version of how Armand's first time with Marius was. I always thought it was funny how Marius would try to punish him and Armand just didn't care. I know this isn't entirely accurate, as far as the time line goes, but I hope you find it amusing anyway! This was actually inspired by an episode of The Lucy show, which is why I wrote it as a script.**

Armand's First Days

**Armand**: *talking to the camera as if in an interview* My first years with Marius were...interesting. I was enchanted at first, of course, and most grateful. He saved my life. I mean, he chose _me!_ I was to be someone quite special. It was the most wonderful feeling in the entire world. Until I realized that I was not the only one. He had an entire _school_ full of boys! And really, none of them measured up to me. I shall never forget my time there. I could be just a bit, oh, stubborn, perhaps? *small laugh* I was not always like that. You see, it really started when...

*fade to black*

*fade back in. camera shoes all of the boys coming out of a room. Each of them has a fresh hair cut. Armand comes out last*

**Boy 1:** I feel quite naked now.

**Boy 2:** I know it! Really, if we were going to get lice, we shall get them with or without shorter hair. Surely there is an easier way to check.

**Armand: ***sobbing*

**Boy 1: **What are you crying for?  
**Armand: **My hair! My wonderful curls! They are GONE!  
**Boy 2:** I cannot see the problem. _My_ hair was near to my waist!  
*Marius enters*

**Marius: **Boys, boys, please settle down. Now, all of you stand against that wall.

*boys shuffle to get in a line against the wall*

**Marius:** I wish you all to give me your names. We shall start with you.  
**Boy closest to Marius: **Javier

**Boy 2: **Paul

**Boy3: **Lucian

**Boy4: **Jaques

**Boy5: **Ricardo

**Boy 6: **Aaron

**Armand: **I dunno

**Boy 8: **Kyren  
**Marius:** *glares down the line* STOP! Which one of you is the joker, hm?  
**Armand: **It is I sir, but I am not joking! I really do not remember my name!  
**Marius:** I see, and how did that happen?  
**Armand: **I do not know that either.  
**Ricardo: ***nudges the boy next to him* I think they must have cut too deep into that hair!  
*boys laugh*

**Marius: **Stop that, you two. *looks Armand over* Ah, yes, I remember! One moment. I know that I wrote your name down someplace. *Marius begins to fish in his pocket. He finally pulls out a piece of parchment. On it, we can see drawings of stick figures of each of the boys. Under the drawing of Armand are 4 very suggestive names, including S.P. for Sexy Pantaloons, but each has been crossed out. He has circled the last name, AMADEO.*  
Ah ha, yes! You are going to be Amadeo now. So, before we all...  
**Armand: **But please, Master! You told me that you had a special plan for me. You said that I was going to _be_ somebody! I do not belong here!  
**Marius: **All in good time. First you must have basic training. We must have our regulations.  
**Armand: **That is not fair! You told me -  
**Marius:** Listen my child, it is simply standard practice. You _must_ have a basic education and physical training! Today, we are focusing on the physical aspect. If we could all please -  
**Armand: **But sir, listen, I...  
**Marius:** *now clearly irritated* BUT until I think that you are ready, you are going to be treated like everyone else here! _Now_, we shall start with the most basic of tasks. Cleaning. I see that you all have your... *sighs* Amadeo. _Why_ did you not get a broom?  
**Armand: **Because I think that this whole think is completely absurd!

*Marius grunts angrily and gets Armand a broom himself, tossing it into his hands*

**Armand:** OH! Now you have done it! Now you have _done it!_ You have ruined my nails! I paid 2 whole silvers for that, not to mention a copper for the tip!  
*Marius rolls his eyes as Armand begins to dig in his pockets*

**Marius:** And just what are you doing now?

**Armand: **Putting on gloves!

**Marius: **You cannot...those are not.. I..oh, FINE. So be it! *shouts* Just get back into that line!  
**Armand: ***tsks* There is no need to yell. My goodness, but you have a temper!

**Marius: **If you follow instruction, I will not yell. NOW, this broom will quickly become your friend. This building is wide open in many places, so there is dirt and dust galore. You will each be in charge of cleaning your own area. A dirty broom will do you no good, so you must make certain it has been beaten out before you use it. Altogether then, check the bristles.  
*all the boys begin to check their broom. Armand tosses his to the ground*  
**Marius:** Amadeo! Pick up that broom!  
**Armand: ***puts his nose in the air* I do not want to.  
**Marius: **I _said_ pick. up. that. BROOM!

**Armand: ***mimics how Marius is standing and mocks his voice* I shall pick up that BROOM when I am good and ready to!  
**Marius: ***takes 3 slow steps up to Armand, crosses his arms and leans right into Armand's face* ARE YOU READY NOW?!  
**Armand: ***blinks, startled* Yes, I'm ready *scurries to pick up his broom*

**Marius: ***calls an older boy over* Peter, I would like you to demonstrate all of the basic techniques. I want you all to pay close attention. He will only do this once and I expect all of you to do it perfectly as it is quite simple.  
**Peter: **Ready? Right, left, lift, turn, straight, narrow, wide sweep, circles, beat, pile it, sweep the pile out.  
**Marius: **Any questions?  
**Armand:** Yes sir. Can I see him do that one more time?  
**Marius: **NO!  
**Armand: **But he was going far too fast!  
**Marius:** You shall pick it up as we drill then. *turns his back to the group* Have the broom ready. And...  
*Marius begins the instructions. Armand desperately tries to keep up*  
**Marius:** Right. Right. Right. Left. Left. Left. Once right. Once left. Lift up. Turn.  
*Armand lifts his broom and turns too wide, the broom handle smacking the head of the boy to his right. The boy falls over*

**Marius: **Straight. Straight. Narrow pull. Straight. Narrow pull. Wide sweeping circles.  
*embarrassed but still trying to follow instruction, Armand scoots away from the boy he hit. He moves too far to the right and his "wide sweeping circle" trips the boy on his other side. The boy lets his broom go, which in turn trips the boy next to him. A domino effect goes down the entire line until all the boys have fallen over*  
**Marius: **Now small circles, small circles, small cir- *hears the chaos behind him and turns around to see all of the boys on the ground, except for Armand*  
**Armand: ***leans on his broom handle, smiling innocently* I am not sure about you Master, but it seems as though I really am the only one who has what it takes!

*end of scene one*

SCENE 2

*opens to show all of the boys with packs on their back, sweaty and exhausted, going into an ancient sort of gymnasium*

**Marius**: Alright every one, you may stop now. Against that wall everyone and please turn to face me.

*the boys waddle to the wall, except for Armand who takes one step and falls backward, dramatically*

**Marius**: Amadeo! You are supposed to be standing to attention.  
**Armand**: I _am_ standing to attention. This pack is at ease.  
**Marius**: Very well, everyone ground your pack. *looks to Armand* Come now, on your feet. That was only a twelve mile hike!

**Armand**: *high mocking voice* It was only a twelve mile hike! *gets up anyway*

**Marius**: Boys, what you see before you is called an obstacle course.  
**Armand**: Yes, I can see that. Master, please, this is ridiculous! The idea of making me -  
**Marius**: Until you complete this basic training, you are just one of the boys and you will do what _all_ of the other boys do! The first thing we are going to do is jump through these barrel sections. Each of these was once a full size barrel, but they were cut into fourths specifically for this exercise. I want you to line up single file and run through them, with no more then one foot in each section at a time.  
*the boys line up, with Armand at the back. Each boy goes through perfectly. Armand struggles to get through. In the last section, the toe of his shoe gets caught in a knot hole. He takes several steps, dragging it along with him*  
**Marius**: Do not just drag that along, get rid of it!  
*Armand kicks and the section goes flying into the air and hits Marius on the back of the head. Marius turn to glare at Armand*  
**Marius**: Amadeo... if I could turn you into a weapon, I would rule the world!  
*Marius turns back to the other boys and Armand sticks his tongue out at him. The boys have gotten into a single file line before a crude set of monkey bars*

**Marius**: What we do here grab a rung and go across, hand over hand. You may begin.  
*the boys comply, each doing extremely well. Once again, Armand is last. He looses momentum half way across, so he hangs in the middle kicking his feet*  
**Armand:** Help! Help, I am stuck! Help!  
*As he continues to kick, he suddenly feels something go around his waist. The camera captures his horrified face, then pans out to show that his pantaloons have fallen off. Mortified, Armand drops down as all the boys laugh hysterically... even Marius is having a hard time not smiling*  
**Armand**: *embarrassed* Well! Don't just stand there looking! Turn around so I can fix this! Oh ,you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves! Staring at me in such a manner. Turn around!  
**Marius**: *stifles a laugh* Come now boys, over here. Amadeo, when you have pulled yourself together, would you please be so kind as to join me at the rope course?

*the rope course is a large wooden frame with a rope net stretching from top to bottom and side to side*

**Marius**: The object is simple. Climb to the top, put your leg over it and climb down the other side. And if we could all please try to keep our britches on this time...  
*the boys laugh. Armand has just stepped over and gives him a dirty look*  
**Marius**: Begin! Up you go and over you go then down the other side. Come now, hurry up! Up you go and over you go then down the front.  
**Armand**: *to himself* Oh, surely you jest.*he grudgingly climbs up, all the time mocking Marius* Up you go and over you go and own the front. Feh. Big deal!  
*Armand gets his leg over the top and heaves himself over. He climbs down four lines, but his right foot becomes tangled. In an attempt to free it, his other foot becomes tangled. He becomes panicked and in the confusion of trying to attract attention, ends up hanging upside down*

*Marius suddenly realizes that Armand is in trouble. Standing under him, he pushes Armand's torso up then gives him instruction*

**Marius**: Grab those ropes, Amadeo. Good, now get this leg out.

*Armand slides his right leg out, and rests it on Marius's shoulder*

**Marius**: Now the other one.

*Armand clings to the rope and slides his other leg out and puts it on Marius's other shoulder*

**Marius**: Very good, now you may let go.

*Marius walks away and the boys begin to laugh again. He suddenly realizes that Armand is now riding on top of his shoulders. Armand smiles down at him and pats Marius's head*

**Armand**: Hello, Master!

*a door behind them suddenly opens and a beautiful woman approaches Marius*

**Marius**: Ah, Bianca Solderini! To what do I owe this honor?  
**Bianca:** *looks up at Armand* My, when you said that you gave these boys riding lessons, I pictured something quite different.  
*embarrassed, Marius squats down so that Armand can climb off*

**Bianca:** Oh, Marius. There was a terrible fire in town last night. I am afraid that one of my brothels suffered something terrible! Do you have any young men who might be willing to come and work for me? I would be ever so grateful. I will of course pay them handsomely and care for them, as I always have.

**Marius**: Why yes, in fact. *shoves Armand forward* _Him!_ He would be most willing to aide you! You would like to live with this nice woman, wouldn't you, Amadeo?

**Armand**: *huge sigh of relief* Yes! Thank the heavens above! Anything to get out of such work! Er... what exactly _is_ a brothel, Master?

**Marius**: Oh, well, it's... they shall make you feel very good there, Amadeo. Very, very good.

**Armand:** Ah ha! Finally! Well then, good-bye Master!

**Marius**: I cannot say I will be entirely happy to lose you. But I suppose there is one reconciliation. After trying to train you, I cannot possibly advise a more, spoiled, stubborn, nincompoop then you!

*Armand acts very insulted and puts his nose in the air*

**Bianca**: Ah, one more thing Marius! *she scurries back to the door and opens it* You may come in now!

*the door opens wider and Lestat walks in*

**Lestat:** Bonjour! I am the vampire Lestat! I have come to find Marius...

*end scene*

**THE END**


End file.
